Buffy had heard a rumour that there was a new librarian starting today and she was being extra nice and supportive to Willow. Buffy was still freaked about having Xander as her Watcher until a replacement arrived but Willow’s feelings were more important. She and Giles had been very close. At times it made her jealous. They approached the library doors and Willow took a deep breath. Her face was flushed. They opened the doors quietly.

The new librarian had his back to them. He was bending to get some books out of a box. Willow sighed. Buffy tore her gaze away from the man in front of her and looked anxiously at her friend. Another crush on another librarian? The girls weren’t breathing, just watching as the muscles of his back moved sinuously under the soft cotton shirt. They sighed together as he straightened. His jeans remained moulded to his body. Willow moaned, biting her lip to stop the sound. Buffy nudged her friend in the ribs and swallowed, attempting to moisten her throat before giving her “Welcome to the Hellmouth, er, library” speech.

He deposited some books on a nearby table and turned slowly with a shy smile on his face.

"Giles!" Buffy Screeched. Willow laughed at her friend’s reaction. Then the two girls swooped on him. Xander came in and heard the noise but couldn’t see anyone.

"Hello? Someone in distress?" he called. Looking under the table he saw Giles with girls all over him.

"Yes, me. Help me up, Xander?" Giles extended his hand and Xander helped him to stand. They hugged briefly.

"Welcome home." Xander whispered.

"My God! Xander. You’re wearing tweed! You’ve passed your finals, well done. As you can see I’ve re–attired," he said, referring to his clothes.

Xander studied the librarian. He couldn’t put his finger on it but there was something different about him. Willow glued to his body? No, that wasn’t it. WILLOW GLUED TO GILES’ BODY! Giles laughed at the young man’s expression. Willow got the giggles. Buffy was serious.

"There’s a vampire in here…" She moved cautiously round the room. Xander’s expression said it all. He should have got that! Giles would have. But Giles was looking at Buffy, his eyes following her as she stopped in front of him.

"Giles, it’s you. Why am I picking you up as a vampire?"

Giles ignored her question. "Tea?" They all filed into his office. The door was missing. Everyone sat down while he made tea. It was a ritual they had all missed. Finally he was settled behind his desk, warming his hands on his mug. He smiled at Willow.

"First I’d like to thank the two people who saved me, one I love." He smiled at Willow and her stomach did a flip, "and one I hated. Angel. He picked up the pieces and Willow put me back together. I can’t ever thank them enough. I’d be dead now…" His voice ran out and he took a swallow of tea. Buffy was fidgeting in her seat. "Yes, Buffy?"

"You didn’t start drinking again did you?" Her eyes were luminous with tears. This was going to be so difficult for them.

"No, I didn’t drink, Buffy." He found himself pacing behind his desk, nervousness claiming him. He rubbed his neck absently to try and relieve some tension there.

"Drugs." The word was barely audible. He finally had the courage to look them all in the eye. He leaned against his desk and folded his arms loosely.

"I used to lock the door," he gestured to the missing door, "and use practically anything…" He closed his eyes and shuddered at the memory. God this was difficult!

"I had to block Chloe’s death from my mind. I couldn’t get my head round that. It was a horrible way" He swallowed, his voice cracking. "To die." He took a deep breath to steady himself, tears threatening. "I should have been able to save her…" His voice faltered, at last overflowing with grief.

Xander wiped his eyes. He had his own memories of Chloe to contend with. She was a fantastic lover. Kind and considerate and would tease him so gently. She wanted him near at the end so he would see she was happy and freed from pain. He had never witnessed such joy as when the souls flowed through her body as she lay dying in his arms. He hadn’t been able to weep until now. Chloe had embraced death, welcoming it as a blessed release. It seemed wrong to be sad at the moment of her death.

Giles lifted his head. He sniffed back the last of his tears. Willow was crying, as was Xander. Buffy was silent, dry-eyed.

"Buffy, you’re very quiet."

"Why didn’t you talk to us? Any of us? How could you just go off and… and do what you did… You could have died…"

"I know that, Buffy."

"Did you want to die? Is that it?" Buffy ploughed on, "Where was your Destiny, your Sacred Duty?" She was almost screaming at him now. He had always been so strong and dependable. Now…now he was just like everyone else, flawed.

Giles’ eyes flashed yellow and he growled low in his throat. Willow shifted uneasily in her seat and Buffy automatically gripped the stake in her pocket.

"Just where were you when I needed you?" He questioned Buffy angrily. He paced towards her, his eyes burning. "I was fine! Good Old Giles, he’ll be OK". His tone dripped sarcasm. "His sister’s just died, let’s have a party!" He stopped pacing and rested his hands on his desk. He glared at them all sitting on his couch. He knew he was frightening them but this was who he was now, so tough!

"When you had the ’wake’, I’d been using for a week and you didn’t notice. If any of you had, I could have stopped and spared myself a lot of pain." He straightened and began to pace again. This time Xander was the target. "But no, I am part of the wallpaper. A walking text book that you all laugh at." He stopped abruptly and sat down at his desk. "Well, no more. From now on I’m freelance. You do what the Hell you want!" He pointed at Xander. "You… You’re promoted to Chief Watcher." His eyes were empty as his gaze raked over his “children”. He rested his eyes on Willow and his anger evaporated. He didn’t want to frighten her anymore.

"Off to class." His voice finally under control. They all trooped out. Willow was the last to leave.

"Will you be alright? I’ll come in at lunch…" She asked hopefully.

"Yes, thank you, Willow.… Can you… say I’m sorry…" She nodded and left his office. He rested his elbows on the desk and his head in his hands. His mind raced. He had to get rid of this feeling and If this was three months ago… He left the office and went out to the catalogue desk. Soon he was engrossed in one of his favourite activities, cross–referencing! It did him good to let fly occasionally. He would make it up to them sometime. Snyder came in. Giles’ eyes rolled skyward.

"I saw that, Mr.Giles. I came in because your argument could be heard in the corridor. I knew that they would get to you eventually. Just what is a “Watcher”, Mr. Giles?" Giles thought quickly. Nope, couldn’t answer that one.

"I’m the Watcher…" Xander’s voice was clear and cold in the library.

"Ah, Mr. Harris, back from England. Come to catch up on your studies?" Snyder looked gleeful.

"Xander graduated from my old college. He only needed one to one tutoring to improve his grade average. What is it now, Xander?" Giles returned the favour.

"A+. I also read Latin." Xander smiled at his Principal’s shocked expression. Giles was impressed.

"Well, what can one say? Couldn’t be your influence could it, George?" Xander and Giles wore the same expression. Neither blinked. Snyder backed off, shaking his head. Giles grinned at Xander when the library doors shut.

"That was fun. Remember last time?" Xander nodded. "Can you read Latin?" It was Xander’s turn to smile.

"Read a dictionary, that’s as far as I got. I was needed here. You, O’ Chief Watcher, are supposed to complete my training." Giles hung his head and smiled ruefully. "We still need you, Giles. All of us, and a bit of ribbing means we love you, y’know."

"I know. Come round to the house tonight and I’ll tell you what I did in vacation."

"Sounds like the title of a book…" Xander quipped.

Giles was quiet for a moment. "It very nearly was…"

end part 6

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